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[20 Oct 2004|04:49pm] |
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I havn't touched this journal in a very long time. I shall delete it soon enough. Recently, Recently For a long time I have been missing of someone. That laughter we shared and those great times. I figured out what made me act the way I did. I want to tell them because I'm hoping it will maybe mend things and we can be friends again. Enjoy those great times too. I know my lost friend will never read this but if you do read this know I miss those nights of bad movies and tastless food... I miss your laughter and being the only one who could see. I'm sorry... In my heart I feel as if you miss my friendship too. Sometimes I feel you acking for me too... I miss you making me laugh........................
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| HA |
[01 May 2004|09:00am] |
i did something very uncharatristic... OKIES well like 5! in the time of one night HA!! YAY ... I'm not changing who I am... I love me!!! *hugs self* ... Wish my friday wasn't SO fuckin boring...Hopefully my saturday will be more adventrous!!! YAY...Dunno what I'm going to do at night but hopefully something fun!!! I dunno... but i'm actually feeling pretty good about myself and stuff... YAY i'm single and ready to MINGLE!!!!! lol...I dunno I think i got a couple fish bitting at the line... lol... I'M WEIRD!!! I know... but ya... I dunno after a very confusing week good time with good friends... I'm ready for me !!! I'm ready to be JUST me... Not isi and ... JUST ME!!! WOOHOOO go me!!! kick ass!!!!! okies... I know I'm on this whole weird me kick that I don't think ANY of you understand...but if ya wanna know mmmm maybe i'll explain if ya wanna knwo...
PS... Lets chill ???? Comment im me call me what ever...If your reading this and we havn't chilled... then you need to contact me ASAP to chill!!!
love you
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[30 Apr 2004|03:55am] |
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most of its been a haz...this week...last night was kick ass...good times at lyons!!! I enjoyed it... Was laughin non stop... Tony n mike are kick ass guys! Not to sure what to write right now but i feel like updating...things have been...well they've been going...*le sigh* I dunno what to say...I'm thinkin i'm turning this into a friends only journal soooo if ya wanna be/stay on my friends list comment or something...
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| boredem rules |
[30 Apr 2004|03:42am] |
1. Go into your LJ's archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions
to shy... want to hold him... want to want him... want him to want me :)
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| yay another update |
[27 Apr 2004|06:17pm] |
SO... after being bored with myself and utter rejection I go to change myself in hopes to look more approachable by guys... *sigh* SOOO yay i experminted with my hair right now i'm in the frist step...I hope this turns out oober cool looking. I think it will but we may never know now a days... These tricky hair things. I gotta start dieting. I'm loosing weight but not quick enough...more exercise and what not will help with that... Tommrow ryan and fritz are coming over...Hopefully more people and probally lou lou...I plan on gettin drunk since I bought the booze and havn't yet... Everyone else has drinkin it except for me! *sigh* ... I will though tommrow night or friday and it will be a rip roaring good time!! OH man my head itchs... I need more girl buds...I don't really have any...I mean I talk to some girls but I'm not really close with any...Yups ok thats it I'm on the search for girl buds... Will you be my pal? OR gay guys cause they rock too!! lol...but ya... I'm tired of all this testrone around me and now that most of my friends are on the hunt for girls I'm not invited to much... *le sigh* .... I know whine whine whine whine whine... Ya that's what this post is... okies time for me to go wash this stuff out KICK ASS
xoxo
Lisa
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[25 Apr 2004|01:05am] |
I don't know where I am or what I'm doing... Everything has been such a blur recently... Nothing is making sense in my head... No one's actions are speaking clearly...Everything is just... BLAH... I don't even know how to begin to explain what is going on... Nothing is making sense... Its mainly other people... Other peoples feelings...Other peoples emotions and how i feel towards them. Nothing is clear..I hope it clears up... :(
Other news... I visted UCSC and OMG i'm in love...Going to go sign a transfer argeement monday....so long sac!!!
xoxo
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| ho hum |
[22 Apr 2004|05:10pm] |
Not to much going on. I'm doing well with everything thats been going on... Some things have been back steps and I'm not entirly sure why... BUT I've been doing extreamly well... :) YAY I spent all day watching lou play MY video game :) lol I was online and ryan was just chillen!! It was so much fun... Was up untill like 4 in the morning. My grandma is visting and its a lot of fun. I can't wait till there gone!!! lol woohoo 7 days of happiness!!! YAYNESS!!! lol... okies well leave me a comment or something people. Tell me whats going on in your life...
*hugs*
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| *hugs* |
[20 Apr 2004|05:26pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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My monitor and I are so not getting along atm... it keeps shutting itself off as long as i keep everything tiny looking it does just fine... :( *sigh* so yesterday was a great day! only because well had a back step in the whole breaking up thing... :( Sighs i miss it so much... but today i'm doing good and everything is fine... So yes... FRIDAY!!! or acutally all week... My moms is open and i'm home alone so someone come spend the night with me to keep me company please :)
*hugs*
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| *sighs* |
[18 Apr 2004|01:55pm] |
This has been an intresting weekend none the less... Went to ryans friday and drank... that was fun spent like 2 hours in the hot tub with jermiah and fritz with drunken rambling...Then lets see... I umm... ya saturday wasa alright nothing to specail and today i'm just chillen... I was thinking about something some person said that... but now i agree... Whats the point? Whats the point in all this to go through the same shit over and over... When its all going to wind up how it is now? I'm going to always end up here sitting on my computer with my heart this way...It hit me last night... There is nothing... There is no reason to keep fighting a battle... To what? To get hurt again? *sigh* so i throw in my towel of trying and give up...
*hugs*
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| how fuckin perfect lol |
[16 Apr 2004|01:24pm] |
I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Thief Bard
Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.
Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class:
Thieves are the most roguish of the classes. They are sneaky and nimble-fingered, and have skills with traps and locks. While not all use these skills for burglary, that is a common occupation of this class.
Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.
Deity:
Tymora is the Chaotic Good goddess of luck and good fortune. She is also known as Lady Luck, and also Tyche's fair-tressed daughter. Followers of Tymora believe in the tenent that, 'Fortune Favors the Bold,' and will throw caution to the wind and trust to luck to work things out for the best. Tymora's symbol is an unmarked silver disk.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)
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[16 Apr 2004|12:56pm] |
where did i leave off... WELL i dunno good times with rfeinds... just kickin back trying to get through this rough period all though *someone* isn't making life easier but hye thats ok... ya know i love you and want you to be apart of my life. I've been having some good times and just relaxing... My life is boring but i'm ok with boring and i can't really write anything of importance on here... sooooo ya... oh ya did i metion karma is a WONDERFUL thing!!!!!! Tommrow is fun I'm going to hang out with a friend...josh... ya... goodtimes!!! lol la la la la la la la la la la oohh tonight party at ryans!a little drunkness and what not! lol... I like it.. lol... and hottub!!!!! Which i claim frist teheheh all mine! Deal with that... WELL i guess i gotta let some people in don't i.... meh... lol... ya I'm actually doing really wonderful in an area i didn't think i would be *wink wink nudge nudge* lol AGH OK this sucks I was sooooooo fuckin going to play everquest but then my freakinfreakity freak monitor DIES... Well I'm not sure... but my fuckin beautiful nice monitor DIED !! AGHHH Tuesday *13th* was wonderfull... I loved it. Very laid back and then decided to go to china town...failed to find china town but found japan town...walked around for a little bit and then went to our play... it was good. I'm glade I got to spend those last moments *you know* but its the past and the past should die... lol... Live in the now .. I have ton o friends who love me and support me! lol... i think...unless secretly they all are plotting to kill me!! MUHAHAHAHA well i'll kill you frist!!!!!! tehehhehehehe just kidding....
<3
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| the end is near |
[11 Apr 2004|10:47pm] |
Last night was a good ending to spring break. I drank with lou frtiz jermiaha and markiemark. It was fun! I was shocked that everything went smoothly. I realised that everything is going to be a ok. That I'm fine. Well I thought I was untill right now but I'm guess I'm not because I have no one to talk to. but ya anyways Last night kicked ass I got sorta drunk had a good time and relaxed with some friends.We halo'd then played poker for a drinking game. Fritz drew a penis on J's face. That was funny then everyone went to sleep. But I stayed awake and talked with fritz for a good two hours... It was fun , got to know him a little. Cool guy! But ya in our talk I realised something that I was doing to myself and I'm going to stop. Yesterday was a good day and I was happy.Today I was happy. I'm going to be a ok !!! Which is good. I know now that I'm ready for all this change, and ya... I'd rather have it not change. I'm ok. And I'm happy! I'm not depressed or what not. I Feel good about myself. I just wish for other things right now... Lol... Something or other for something or other... Someone to share stuff with and what not and go on cool crazy adventours and make plans for later dayz... I miss that stuff!! I miss fallin asleep with someone and having those half tired talks... Those are good... I've decided I want to move back to davis like 100%... Sooo If anyone knows a room I can crash in like 40% of the week please tell me!!! :) I'd aprecaite it muchoo's!!! okies <3 you all
xoxo
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| FUCK |
[10 Apr 2004|04:45pm] |
i just realised that they took my back pack... I'm so mad!!! mad beyond belief that they did that.. Why would they take it?? Sighs... I'm not happy cause I really don't rember what was in my backpack and I'm sure there where some important papers in it... *sigh* that sucks... I'm bored... On a brighter news... I'm happy!!!! :)
xoxo
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| What an intresting two days |
[07 Apr 2004|11:05pm] |
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So after getting over how mad i was about my car being broke into i relaxed the whole day. I got flowers for my half birthday! Which was cool... and um ya.. Then total chill time with everyone at lou's to watch matrix and that was a lot of fun!! Took my mind off of so much stress and ickieness... Then this morning i argued with my dad a bunch. *sorry lou* and then slept till 4. *sorry jas* lol... ya i felt bad. I was supose to go to the movies with ryan but we both way over slept... So that got cancled. I was supose to go chill with jason but I over slept and some stuff happened to where he was busy when i finally woke up :( *again sorry* so i get an intresting call from a person who use to be in my life that i bumped into. We decide to meet up and chat a bit. Said they had some stuff that they wanted to talk to me about it. It was sad. It just made me realise so much stuff... And now I must think... I knew this person by the back of my hand. I could tell you what an eyebrow raise ment ... EVERYTHING... The tone of voice to i dunno you name it i coulda told you. I probally still can. And then we stoped talking. Havn't talked in years. And today it was a very emotional fun weird sad happy talk. I hope a friendship continues. but I never wanna be in this situation again. I vow it to myself. I dunno whats going on... I'm loosing everything near to me again. I don't want to loose everything near to me again and then gain it back in a couple years because well ya... Ya know what romantic movies make me sad... I hate them... I'm a hopeless romantic like in the movies... And well... those great things never get to happen to me... ya i'm going to go cause i gotta think about some stuff... If ya wanna help an isi out... drop me a line
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| FUCK |
[06 Apr 2004|10:36am] |
YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKIN HATE IS THIEFS... PEOPLE WORK FUCKIN HARD FOR THEIR MONEY TO BUY SHIT FOR THEMSELVES AND THEN DUMBASSES WHO ARE TO FUCKIN LAZY TO GO MAKE THERE OWN FUCKIN MONEY. in case you didn't know as i woke up merrily today *my half bday* and went to my car to give ryan a call cause i'm bored stuck at louis' and i'm in my car and i can't find my cellphone... and OMG WOW THERE IS A GIANT GAP IN WHERE MY RADIO SHOULD BE!!!!so ya some fuck ass stole my radio... Ya know I'm not so pissed off about my radio but my cell phone!! I really liked my cell phone it was a part of me and I loved it. It was my life line to everyone and had some memories saved on in it. PLUS I BOUGHT FUCKIN GAMES FOR IT AND RING TONES!!! so ya i'm in not in a good mood at alll. In fact i want to find who ever touched my car and chop off there fuckin balls. FUCKIN BALLS... I HATE sooo much right now... I'm so mad about my car... That stero cost me 200 bucks... and for those of you who don't know much about me... 200 is a FUCKIN lot for me to spend on one thing at one time... let alone VERY fuckin hard for me to get seeing how i'm with out a job...YES and I loved that radio it was cool. My cell phone was even cooler... It had so many things on it that I loved... Which ussally things get old quick with me but not my cell phone... I know this sounds petty and mean but those really where the two things i valued that i owned... I'M JUST REALLY PISSED... plus I have no way of calling anyone right now because lou's house phone sucks donkey balls... I had to drive to my grandma's to use her house phone to see if my phone was in the car... My phone is off... or outta reception... Its either in lou's house or stolen... I'm pretty sure its stolen because its no where in the house...I dunno what to do atm and there is no one to talk to so i'm writing in my lj.... I hate so much right now... Today was supose to be a fuckin good day... Why don't I ever get to have good days... NEVER... Something tragic always has to happen on good days. I really was in a good mood... I hate everything right now.... UGHS
</3
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[01 Apr 2004|12:39am] |
lol okies i caved... I put my pic on hot or not... lol lets see how depressing it will be !! lol... I dunno i kinda like my pic... oh wellz... So ya... I made a cool descion tonight :) okies ask me if ya wanna know... :)
<3
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[30 Mar 2004|07:19pm] |
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music |
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Postal service <3 Nothing better |
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Will someone please call a surgeon who can
crack my ribs and repair this broken
\\heart//
that
you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over
I will block the *door*
like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter
of a tied-game of rivalry
*So* just say how to make it right
//and\\ I swear I'll do my best to comply
Tell me am I right to think that there could be
nothing ~better~
then making you my bride and slowly growing
//old\\ together
I feel I must interject here, you're getting carried
away, feeling sorry for youself with these
revisions and gaps in history.
So let me help you remember. I've made charts
and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling I love you so...
Tell me am I right to think that there *could* be
nothing better
than making you my bride and slowly growing
old together
don't you feed me lines about some idealistic
future
your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing
out the sutures
I admit that *I* have made mistakes
//and\\
I *swear*
I'll never wrong you again
you've got a lure I can't deny, but you've had
your chance so say goodbye
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[30 Mar 2004|01:17am] |
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SOOO after like no one wanted to talk to me online *cry* and find some stuff online I didn't like... So then I decided to attack my room... And now its clean... And Now i'm organzing it... And organzing life... This feels weird... I feel numb... there is no feelings around me...
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